Today marks 40 days of no sugar. I’ve kept my definition of abstinence very simple so that I could have a sense of ease about this new path I’m undertaking. The first 30 days were painful. My body took a while to adjust and in the meantime, I experienced depression, confusion, foggy-headedness, and a vague sense that the world was ending. After about 30 days, the heavy, physical symptoms shifted and I began to feel better. My outlook turned a corner and for that, I’m extremely grateful. I have a historyof serious depressive episodes, and I didn’t want my new choice to open up a very old door for me.
What was interesting was to notice other people’s discomfort. When I mentioned that my body was stuggling to adapt, people said, Well, why not just eat some sugar? I am continually amazed by the lack of understanding that non-addicts have of addicts. But then again, if you’re not an addict, you can’t know the powerlessness over your compulsion as those who’ve experienced can. You can have information, and you can have good ideas, but you can’t know–only another addict can.
Although my definition of abstinence is very simple, I’ve been very conscious of other triggers or behaviors that could contribute to my pattern of compulsive eating. And the literature is absolutely right–it doesn’t matter what I overeat, if I let myself get even a little too full, I body sends me couter-intuitive, read: incorrect, signal. I’m full, I feel full, I know I’m full,I shouldn’t have had that last bite, but instead, my body triggers me to eat more. And not just a little more, but for the rest of the evening, I experience a compulsion to overeat. I was surprised but also heartened–I didn’t do it. And I learned. I can’t risk approaching that ‘too full’ experience that most of us allow ourselves every once in a while. It’s too risky.
As a yogi, compulsive behavior of any kind is unwelcome. We are working toward neutrality and consciousness in all things. Yet our food behaviors are from such a deep, subconscious and even unconscious place. They are imbedded in us as children; before we even have language. How our mother’s related to food and how their relationship with food affected us–it’s deep. Deep in the marrow of our bones are the old fears, the old behaviors, the hidden sugars, the unfulfilled desires that were met with food.
A student once said to me, “Nobody loved me so I loved food and I ate and I ate and I ate.” My God, what is this? If nobody loves you, don’t love anybody; love Guru. But don’t eat 30 chapatis and 3 pounds of daal. It is crazy!
© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, July 21, 1981
Food as nourishment. Food as fuel. Food as sacred. Instead of food as love, food as companionship, food as comfort; these are all new behaviors for me to take on–even after years of practice. I know what I’m supposed to be eating, how I’m supposed to be relating to food, but what we know and what we have the power to do can sometimes feel worlds apart.
To find union through every morsel of food is the yogi’s way. So, now that I have 40 days of abstinence, my next task is to raise the level of consciousness with each bite. To find union with the food and in that union, to know bliss.
It’s a beautiful finish!
For me it’s very hard to do a diet without sugar!
I can’t organize my meals..
I failed a lots…..and so I don’t believe me!
It’s definitely a commitment. Everyday I have to know what I’m going to have for breakfast, remember to bring my snack, pick a safe place for lunch, make sure I have another snack available in the afternoon–and then go home and make something for dinner. Our compulsion for food has to become something greater; it has to become a willingness to take care of ourselves and our food.
It’s not in my nature to be this way. I’ve never been able to take supplements regularly, and before this food plan, I’d never eaten breakfast. Or at least I thought I never did–but generally instead of eating breakfast, I’d grab a sweet roll or a muffin at the corner store. That isn’t conscious–or remotely yogic.
It takes commitment. You have to do it for you–and you have to make a decision. No one can make it for you–and no amount of thinking about it will make a difference either. You already know–now it’s time to decide.
Do something good for yourself. It only has to be for today. And each day, allow yourself the opportunity to be good to yourself again.
I’ve also recently been abstaining from sugar. One day in the office, someone handed me a cookie, and from habit I bit into it before remembering I was giving sugar up. I finished the cookie. That was weeks ago, and I’ve remembered since then to abstain.
It’s okay to mess up a little. It’s a path, after all.
Sat Nam and love.
It is so unconscious. . . and a daily challenge to make it conscious. One day I ordered a lemonade in my favorite restaurant. I had already finished it when I remembered I’m not supposed to drink anything with sugar in it. Granted it was homemade so less sweet than store brands, but definitely a wake up call to make my food choices more conscious….because unfortunately, I don’t have the constitution that allows for just one cookie! smile.
Thanks Satpurk
I try again…again
the problem will be when I feel down!
anyway thanks!
Yes–try again and again and again; and find other ways to comfort yourself. Our attitudes about food need to shift from comfort and solace to the fuel for what’s next. keep up!
Sat Nam!
. (I’m counting on that attending to the European Yoga Festival gives a good start.) Thank you!
It´s great to notice that there are other yogis struggling with same problems. I’ve also used food (specially with sugar) for compensation. I was without sugar for a month and it went fine (started after White Tantra) and I felt great. But then I ate some chocolate and there I go again. But now I been trying to use mainly Indian sugar. What do you think about that? Anyway reading this now gave me courage to try again
I’ve never heard of Indian sugar. My advise is be cautious. I can have a teaspoon of alternative sugars a day without triggering compulsive eating patterns; but I’m always cautious. I watch my response after I’ve eaten something even remotely questionable–and I have to be willing to just cut it out altogether if it creates a trigger response. For me, it’s easier to have nothing than to try to control it. With that said, I have been able to have raw chocolate desserts made with alternative sugars…but I don’t make them myself, or keep them in the house. Treats only.
I’ve been off of white sugar since the beginning of March. It took quite a while for me to notice any significant change in my body, but the excess weight is slowly beginning to shift and come off. My eating patterns have become more relaxed and naturally regulated, which makes it easier to maintain. IT’s good to get outside support if you find that helpful; it definitely helped me in the beginning.
Enjoy European Yoga Festival–and definitely use it to re-energize your commitment to positive, healthy habits around food. (stay away from croissants if you can!) blessings, sat purkh